Purple Asses and Vegetables

So here's the situation: I don't bruise. I just came back from BDSM sex camp (or a sex conference, as I was corrected once) and everyone had these beautiful, beautiful deep purple and wine colored bruises all over their legs and asses. Well, at least all the subs were. And I, of course, have an ass that doesn't bruise. After 60 (because my girlfriend sucks at math and made me count by 3s, which means she didn't realize that I had hit 55 and instead we went to 60...) -hard- smacks with a paddle, after a tall, strong (gorgeous) 20-something guy spanked me until he had to double check with Girlfriend that it was ok, I have NOTHING to show for the effort.
To keep everyone abreast of things, I have just cut and salted some beautiful eggplant that I intend to saute with squash and peppers. I'm not sure what else I'm going to make with it, or why I would opt to eat dinner at 9pm when I've been home since 6:45 but this seems beside the point. Point: I have, until tonight, never made eggplant before.
Last night was the first serious commitment for Girlfriend and I for her to seriously beat my ass. We'd been topping and bottoming all day via text (we're so 21 century) and so she was going to work late and I was going to have a drink with a friend. I was instructed to be home at 10 and to enter, pour her a scotch and go up to the bedroom. Once there, I was to take off my pants and get on all fours on the bed facing the mirror. (There's a large mirror next to the bed.)
I -of course- fucked up. 10:01. It wasn't my fault, though, the bartender was taking forever to run my card and pay for drinks. (I literally told my friend to buy me a drink next time because I couldn't wait to sort out the credit card/cash situation.) But even though I practically ran, I was a minute late. I prayed that the oven clock was a minute or two faster than her laptop clock. I poured the scotch and ran my poor ass upstairs, peeled off my jeans and hopped onto the bed where she made me wait, driving me absolutely insane. It took her forever to come up stairs where I was blindfolded and berated for my tardiness, though both were absolutely expected and deserved.
This is when she started beating my ass. I've already spoiled the surprise, but it was the first time she had used a paddle, and I wasn't sure of what it was from the feel. While she does have a strong hand, it felt a bit bigger and hit harder. I had to count in 7s, then 2s, and then of course 3s where I received 10, and then 20, and then 30 licks with the paddle. I was absolutely trembling, my arms collapsing underneath me more than once. The pain was, to be trite, exquisite. The sting wasn't as intense as the crop or the cane that she uses, but it was a fantastic, powerful smack. (FYI, I actually prefer less sting, as it means I can go quite a bit longer.)
On a side note, it should have been 10, 20, 25, but for all Girlfriend's amazing qualities, apparently multiples of 3 is not a forte, as I reached 75 and she had me keep counting. It wasn't until I pointed it out later that night that she realized.
After 60, though, I was barely able to stay up. Pain radiated from my ass to the backs of my thighs, up my back. It felt numb and burned at the same time; my body tingled. I couldn't even focus on my clit as I couldn't get beyond the fact of my own pain and how absolutely complex it felt. This was when Girlfriend called for a break, pulling off the blindfold and letting me collapse in the fetal position and I couldn't help but start to cry. Never having made me cry, this was too much for her and she called it a night. Yup! I make my tops safeword!
The most interesting part about it was that I was soaking wet. I hadn't been thinking about my own wetness or pleasure the way I usually do... all the time. My head was solely focussed on the pain. It wasn't until I put my hand between my legs that I realized how dripping wet I actually was. Once we regrouped she verbally degraded me while making me fuck myself for her entertainment. Absolutely wonderful orgasm, though I told her that I would have cum harder had her fingers been inside me as well. But you live and learn!
I sported the most intense welt I've ever seen, bright red and horribly swollen. A full day later it still aches to sit on the right side of my ass. BUT. No bruise. We now have a very clear goal: purple.
Will keep you updated on progress of bruises; eggplant.